Southern York County Life

Born Jacob Cohen in 1921, Rodney “No Respect” Dangerfield began writing jokes at the age of 15. At 19 he changed his name to Jack Roy and had two jobs: one as a comic who couldn’t make a living and the other as a singing waiter.
After traveling the comedy circuit for ten years, the struggling Jack Roy quit show business in favor of selling aluminum siding.
It wasn’t until the age of 40 that Dangerfield made the decision to relaunch his career as a performer and comedy writer. He spent his days in a business office and nights working in New York clubs.
Rodney’s famous trademark white shirt and red tie are on permanent display at the Smithsonian.

I’m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker.  I dropped my pants.  She dropped her price.

I tell you, I’m not a sexy guy.  I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide.” He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection.  My yo-yo, it never came back!

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor.  I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

We needed a break

Although it’s pretty hard to top guyhook, djseanrock, and saabmaster

It’s a shame he just died recently.

Here are a couple more

My uncle’s dying wish, he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.

I tell you, with my doctor, I don’t get no respect. I told him, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

My wife isn’t very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, “Did you see the guy that did it?” She said, “No, but I got the license plate.”

I went to see my doctor… Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me? He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”